Walking Between Classes with Boys

Hermes Middle School is probably very similar to thousands of middle schools across the country and across the world. The young adolescents like Chloe and her friends are given all kinds of cues to tell them they are older and more mature than they were just a few months back in elementary school.

There is no playground equipment. Instead the school has outdoor sports fields next to the campus and an indoor gymnasium with a full basketball court. The kids change classes for different subjects and see a different set of peers in each class. Teachers do not escort students like they did in elementary school, and in general the number of rules and the strictness of those rules have been greatly relaxed.

Two Very Different Honor Students

It was Philip’s first college fair. The Honors Advisor at Hermes High School had encouraged the Honor students in the Junior Class to attend. I took Philip and volunteered to give other students a ride. In the end, Philip was joined by just one of his peers: Evan.

I met Evan and his mother at Hermes High School the morning of the college fair. The contrast between Philip and Evan was immediate in their appearance alone. Philip was handsomely dressed in a new pair of jeans, an ironed but un-tucked button-up grey shirt and a semi-formal black jacket. He had showered with shampoo and conditioner plus and had combed his hair to perfection. Philip completed his look with a pair of dark plastic sunglasses. Meanwhile, Evan’s pewter-brown hair looked like it was washed only rarely with hand soap. His black t-shirt and tan cargo pants contrasted. His socks matched each other but not anything else in his attire. Philip’s clothing shocked Evan. “Oh … my dad told me I just had to wear something clean.”

Disparenting’s Impact on Friends and Friendships

Both Amelia and I like Jasmine’s Mother Rita and Katherine’s Father Jerry. But we have ultimately concluded that both Rita and Jerry have critical flaws in the way they parent. These flaws work themselves out in what I have come to call disparenting. And as Jasmine and Katherine trudge forward into adolescence, the fruit of various disparenting practices is becoming ever more pronounced. Poor life skills often result in poor marriage choices and relationship skills which lead to divorce and single-parenting. The stress and difficulty of single-parenting amplifies the negative impact of poor life skills. And once the kids begin to act out, the amplification can accelerate in a vicious cycle.

Having an Older Teen’s Perspective and Insight

It was only two years ago when Philip entered his freshman year at Hermes High School. Over what seems like an absurdly brief period of time, Philip has grown seven inches taller and perhaps that much wiser. He seems to understand himself better and he also seems to understand why his peers think and act the way they do. When his friend Joshua sent a dozen text messages in a half an hour’s time because Philip didn’t respond immediately to the first text immediately, Philip merely shrugged it off concluding that it is something some teenagers simply do.

Getting off to a Bad Start

Normally, boring adults like me only get to witness such things by watching teen dramas on television. But I guess it makes sense that volunteering to chaperon an end-of-summer teen dance sponsored by the Hermes High School Cheer Squad put me right where all that might be gossip-worthy would appear. Only three adults witnessed the “event of the evening” and I was one. And since one of the three was Liana’s mother, it was really only two adults who were privileged to witness Liana’s crowning act in making a foolish spectacle of herself.

Eagerly Anticipating Middle School

Chloe has enjoyed the summer. It has been filled with all kinds of special events. She hosted a great birthday-sleepover party shortly after the school year ended. Not long after Chloe spent a week as Gayle’s guest for her family vacation. Our family hosted plenty of guests for a barbeque and then a neighborhood view of the fireworks on Independence Day. Chloe’s cousin Joelle visited our family for a week. Ashley and her family also visited for a couple days. As summer drew to a close, Chloe and her brother Philip spent a week camping with Jasmine, Joshua, Debbie and Abby. Chloe has also gotten to spend lots of time with other friends, including Holly and Patty.

A Fun Place to Sleep When a Friend Visits

Unlike all Chloe’s other friends, Jasmine lives less than a five minute walk from our house. When we hear an unexpected knock on the door, we usually conclude it is Jasmine. In this manner, Chloe ends up spending a lot of time with Jasmine. Together Chloe and Jasmine walk into town for simple things like an ice cream or a candy bar. At other times they head off together to see a movie.