A Growing Ease and Confidence

Early last Saturday evening the phone rang and I was the one to answer the phone, “Hello.”
“Hi Mr. Askins. Is Philip there?” It was Craig.

“Philip isn’t here at the moment Craig. Are you calling to see if he would want to get together with you to do something tonight?”

“Uh yeah. But that’s OK if he’s not in tonight.”

“Philip is not here, but I think he’d be interested in getting together. He’s down at the Cambodian Barbeque with Joshua and his sister Debbie. We’re headed down there right now. There’s a live band. I don’t know if you have been there before but you can get a small Gelato inexpensively. I’m sure Philip would love to have you join him. You can talk about doing something afterwards.”

“Uh, sure. Maybe I’ll go down there then.” And the two of us politely exchanged our good-byes.
The Cambodian Barbeque opened in Hermes just as the recession was gaining stride. The restaurant and its owners have defied the odds with great food, great prices, great ambiance and solid customer service. They now have live music every Friday and Saturday evening which draws enough of a crowd and the associated business to well offset the cost. As far as location goes, they are in a strip mall half way between the town’s two largest office parks and they share a nice lunchtime business with a local pizza chain, a Mexican restaurant, a Wendy’s, a fancy Japanese restaurant and an upscale grocery store. Their Gelato offering competes nicely with a frozen yogurt shop and a Starbucks in the same strip mall which is walking distance from Hermes High School.

When Amelia and I arrived at the Cambodian Barbeque with Chloe, we saw Craig had arrived ahead of us and had joined Philip, Joshua and Debbie at a four seat table. This was the first time since Philip’s birthday party I had witnessed Craig in a teen social setting that was larger than just Craig and Philip. At Philip’s birthday party four months earlier I had observed Craig failing to navigate any relationship but the one he enjoyed with Philip, and I had been concerned that Craig and Philip’s friendship might not survive the transition to high school as a result.

But four months maturation had clearly been kind to Craig. He had an ease and confidence I had not witnessed in him before. Even Joshua’s thirteen-year-old sister Debbie seemed perfectly comfortable sharing the dinner table with Craig—though admittedly Debbie lived under the same roof with Joshua and was accustomed to Joshua’s early adolescent antics. In my mind, Debbie’s acceptance of Craig was the truest indicator of Craig’s maturation.

It was a dramatic change. Craig wasn’t positioning to control the conversation, needing to outdo Joshua’s one-liners or sulking when others were getting more attention. Debbie and the three young guys talked about movies, music, video games, sports and who knows what else. For the four of them, the adult world of everyone else at the restaurant must have seemed like a grey blur and a dull roar of white noise. They were completely focused upon one another and enjoyed trading their various stories and opinions.

Once the four had finished eating, they left their table and went for a walk around the strip mall. As the live music set was drawing to a close, Philip came up to me and asked if he could invite both Craig and Joshua to sleep over at the house that night. Amelia and I accepted. A few mobile phone calls later, all the arrangements had been made.

As the rest of the house settled down for the night, Philip, Craig and Joshua moved around from Youtube, the Wii and the Roku. When I said goodnight to them, they had settled down to watch a movie on the Roku. They looked so comfortable hanging out together. Craig looked especially comfortable.

There was a growing ease and comfort that hadn’t been there only four months ago, and I was very, very happy for Craig’s sake. I’m now certain Philip and Craig’s friendship will survive the transition to high school.