Cell Phone Envy

Ever since Chloe first saw one of her peers call a parent from school using a cell phone, Chloe has wanted a cell phone of her own. When kids started text messaging and using the photo features on their cell phones the craving only got stronger. But our answer to Chloe was the same answer nearly every other parent gives, “We will get you a cell phone when you need one.”

Philip got a cell phone when he went into Middle School, because that was when we needed him to have one. Chloe felt it was unfair but we held our ground. But now circumstances have worked in Chloe’s favor. Amelia and I are now working full time with Philip carrying responsibility for Chloe between the end of the school day and the first parent being available in the house.

So for her birthday, we wrapped the new cell phone among Chloe’s presents. This year’s party was simple: Pizza, cake and some games. Most of Chloe’s regular friends were at the party. Hot Dog and Big Gulp from her basketball team were both there. Chloe’s best friends from school Patty and Stephanie were also there. So was Samantha. And so was Lindsay, a girl from Chloe’s soccer team.

The party was going perfectly until Chloe unwrapped the cell phone. Perhaps we should have given that gift privately. But no parent complained. Chloe now needed a cell phone and this was her day to enjoy that imperfect coming-of-age event. The other “haves” in the room also needed their cell phones. And each of the “have-nots” in the room did not need a cell phone yet. And we knew their parents’ position on the subject matched ours.

Somehow, a cell phone is in the category along with a Disney theme park vacation. Normally young kids can handle the fact that some kids have things that others do not have. But it is not so with cell phones. And when you throw in the messaging, audio and video features that now come as standard with the little gadgets, it only magnifies the envy.

Most of the girls who did not have their own cell phones quickly shrugged off Chloe’s good kid-fortune. In fact they were genuinely happy for Chloe and looked on with enjoyment as Chloe and Lindsay tested out the new phone’s text messaging feature. But Patty wouldn’t let it go so easily. She sulked in the corner. She wrote “I’M MAD” on a name tag and stuck it on her forehead. And for at least a half hour Patty was a little dark storm cloud floating among a bunch of white-and-fluffies.

But in the long run, even Patty was able to accept her relative circumstance. Patty still calls Chloe on the regular phone and the two talk on and on about ten-year-old girl things. Chloe’s cell phone time is for family communication only until night and weekend minutes apply. But Chloe especially enjoys making videos using her cell phone. And she’s traded a non-excessive, rationed amount of text messages with Lindsay.

Inequality is difficult to deal with as a child, yet handling inequality is a necessary skill every good parent teaches to his or her kids. But some inequalities seem to get under kids’ skin more than others. All I can conclude is that cell phone envy is here to stay—at least for a while.