Winter break is a two week affair in the Hermes School system and no doubt many school systems. For Philip and Chloe, winter break has meant they have the long-awaited control over their sleep. Or maybe it is sleep rather than their schedule that finally has control over them. Either way, the opportunity to stay up late and sleep in is almost more welcome than the wrapped gifts they were eyeing during the first week of winter break.
By Tuesday, both Philip and Chloe were waking up after noon. When I finally went to sleep Tuesday night at a time particularly late for me, both Philip and Chloe were in their rooms watching online videos. Neither Amelia nor I saw any reason to make them go to bed. On Wednesday, Philip was still in his room late in the afternoon. When the winter darkness settled in, we joked about pretending it was morning when Philip woke up. Amelia and I each had a story about being a teenager and waking up in the evening after a long sleep and thinking it was morning. Amelia remembers asking her mother to make french toast and her mother doing so without a word. By the time Philip woke up we had agreed not to play any tricks on him. But then he surprised us. “I don’t know what happened. I woke up at five forty-five and couldn’t get back to sleep.” It took us a while to realize he thought it was morning. And he was genuinely surprised when we explained that it was evening.
Whether it is an effect similar to winter hibernation or something to do with growing, sleep seems to be particularly important to adolescents. Amelia and I feel we should respect their need for sleep. Although they are both past the age of needing bedtimes, we find ourselves encouraging them to sleep, especially when they need to wake up early the next day.
Their sleeping habits tend to rub off on the family. On Friday nights we tend to stay up later with them and then the weekend or holiday takes its course with sleeping in when we do not have any morning obligations. There is something fun about staying up late. We watch movies or television together. Sometimes one of them will go to a friend’s house to stay overnight and we will do something special with the other one. With Philip, we played a complex family board game he likes when Chloe spent the night at Gayle’s house. (And yes, he beat us!) On another night, Chloe got to watch a horror movie with Amelia when Philip was over at Joshua’s house.
If something is going to disrupt our ability to take action during weekends and holidays, then I would certainly pick the kids’ need for sleep as the primary disruptor. But for us it really has not been a disruptor. Amelia and I use it to get things done in the morning and tend to plan family activities for the afternoon.
Two weeks ago, our family activity was Kiwi-picking. There’s a farm about forty-five minutes away. We have an annual ritual to pick Kiwis. We bring home as much as fifty pounds. Our favorite family photo shows Philip at age ten and Chloe at age six at the farm near the kiwi bushes. We had it printed onto canvas and it hangs proudly on our dining room wall. This past weekend, Chloe woke up around eleven-thirty. We woke up Philip around one-fifteen and ultimately left the house at twenty minutes past two. When we arrived at the farm it was less than an hour before the four o’clock close. But the kids were experienced. And the long sleep meant they were both in a great mood. Thirty-five minutes later we had almost forty pounds of kiwis loaded in the back of our vehicle and we were heading home victorious. Chloe and Philip were relaxed and there was a sense of unhurriedness that was particularly refreshing.
Within reason, we can work around the kids sleep needs and habits. When Christmas morning came it was nice having the adults be the first ones to wake up. That didn’t stop Chloe from waking up at the first sound of her parents. It also didn’t stop Philip from intentionally getting to bed early the night before in anticipation of the upcoming gift-opening. With Amelia and I respecting the kids’ need for sleep, the kids are now free to manage themselves and seem to have it well under control.
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