The Season When Friendship Always Trumps the Social Hierarchy

Less than a month earlier, Britney was an ever-present nuisance when it came to Chloe’s efforts to spend time with Gayle. That was when school was still in session. But Chloe’s fortunes quickly changed once school was over. Summer vacation was not even ten days old when Chloe received an offer she would not have even thought possible back when school was in session. Chloe was Gayle’s choice as the friend to bring along on a family vacation to her grandparents’ home at a popular vacation destination.

On the one hand, it was a testimony to the power of friendship. But on the other hand, it was also a testimony to the power of the social hierarchy on campus. Off campus this summer, Chloe is the preferred friend. But on campus in Elementary School, Britney was the preferred friend. What remains an open question is “Who will Gayle treat as the closer friend once the school year begins at Hermes Middle School?”

Not only did Gayle and Chloe log four days and three nights together at Gayle’s grandparents’ house, they also spent the day before and the day after together. And then on the following weekend, Chloe joined Gayle at the movie theater to meet a boy who had texted Gayle wanting to see a movie as a date. When Chloe called me that first night from Gayle’s grandparents’ home, she was full of all kinds of stories about the fun she had during a day that was half taken by a car ride she shared with Gayle in their pajamas. “Daddy! Guess what Gayle and I just did! We had a whipped cream fight!” Chloe spent half of the very short call laughing and quickly ended it to return to her shared mayhem with Gayle. The next night Chloe stayed on the phone long enough to tell me she and Gayle each ate a whole foot-long while out on a fishing boat with Gayle’s grandfather. The stretch of time the two shared together will no-doubt be a positive memory both Gayle and Chloe will carry and cherish well into adulthood.

Middle School may or may not upset the social hierarchy that was in place at the end of Elementary School. Many factors will come to play. First off, there will be many new students for Chloe and Gayle to meet coming from other schools and other social hierarchies. Then there will be the older students at the Middle School. School sports teams, a cheer squad, larger home rooms and changing classes will all contribute to who meets and gets to know who. The break between the end of one school year and the beginning of another will allow students to mature at different rates as well as gain new experiences. And finally, it will allow friendships hindered by the old social hierarchies to flourish while the friendships artificially maintained by those same social hierarchies will atrophy.

But in the end, nothing can be predicted. For now Amelia and I as Chloe’s parents are helping Chloe cultivate those friendships Chloe enjoys the most. That includes Gayle as well as many others like Patty and Holly. We cannot know how things will play out once Middle School begins, but for now it is summer when friendship always trumps the social hierarchy. Perhaps that is part of the reason why summers like these are so special.