The Tame Teen Culture of Grinding and Social Networking

On March 4th the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released a report that showed (with two interesting exceptions) a significant drop in teen sex between two studies for which the data was only five years apart. I’ve copied the CDC’s figures for teenagers ages 15 – 17 into the tables below. In a way, the numbers communicate more than anything I or anyone else could write in comment.

Heterosexual Sex: Ages 15 – 17	Boys 2002	Boys 2006-8	Boys’ Drop	Girls 2002	Girls 2006-8	Girls’ Drop
Vaginal Sex	36.3%	31.8%	4.5%	38.7%	33.0%	5.7%
Any Oral Sex	44.0%	35.0%	9.0%	42.0%	30.2%	11.8%
Gave Oral Sex	30.4%	22.5%	7.9%	28.2%	25.1%	3.1%
Received Oral Sex	38.0%	33.4%	4.6%	40.3%	26.8%	13.5%
Anal Sex	8.1%	6.2%	1.9%	5.6%	7.0%	------
No Heterosexual Contact	46.8%	53.2%	7.4%	50.2%	60.3%	10.1%

Additional Sexual Data: Ages 15 - 17	Boys 2002	Boys 2006-8	Boys’ Drop	Girls 2002	Girls 2006-8	Girls’ Drop
Homosexual Sex	3.9%	1.7%	2.2%	8.4%	10.3%	------
No Sexual Contact	46.1%	52.6%	6.5%	48.6%	58.2%	9.6%

When I read these numbers I was shocked. What had caused such a dramatic demographic shift in behavior in such a short period of time? Nobody knows the answer, at least not at this point. But it reminds me of the dramatic cultural shift one saw take place in the opposite direction between the mid-1950s and the late 1960s, but at the speed of the internet rather than the speed of television.

For the most part, I am happy with the above numbers. Most proactive parents probably share my overall approval of what these numbers communicate. I am really only disturbed by the rise in anal sex among teenage girls. Given the anal sex rate for teenage boys dropped, the rise among teenage girls almost certainly means it is older male partners—men, not boys—who are practicing anal sex with an increasing percentage of underage girls.

Teenagers as a population are deeply conflicted on the subject of sex. They want to stay far away from pregnancy and STDs, but their adolescent brain and body chemistries scream for intimacy and gratification. They want their first intimate experiences to be positive, meaningful memories, but they don’t want to wait for what seems like forever either. They want to be thought of well, but teens are bullied not only for being seen as easy or promiscuous but also for being seen as frigid or undesirable. Family, educational institutions, the popular media, religious institutions, interest groups and even the government send them no shortage of messages on the topic. And lastly but perhaps most importantly, they feel a tension between their natural curiosity and their natural cautiousness.

So why did such a big change happen over such a short period of time? While I do not claim to know the answers, I believe this change is the result of other changes in the world at large.

The first change is the fact that teens are communicating more and expressing themselves more openly to a progressively broader audience, most notably as a result of the emergence of social networks. Today, before two teenagers ever meet, they may be very aware of one another from browsing Facebook. If not, they can quickly learn quite a bit through the same medium shortly after meeting. Facebook alone re-adjusts the tension between curiosity and caution; Facebook satisfies a large amount of curiosity while potentially evoking quite a lot of caution.

The second change is improved access to ideas and information through the internet. Social networks in particular broadcast the stories of others’ experiences. Anecdotal stories from known individuals have significantly higher credibility than any educational materials from a school, or propaganda from a government, religious institution or interest group. The stories of real peers can easily overshadow well-crafted teen fiction in the popular media. The growth and maturation of the internet also means teens can do their own research without even leaving home and come to their own conclusions about the pleasures and dangers of teen sex. I suspect this is the reason far fewer boys and far more girls are comfortable experimenting with homosexuality as teenagers, as well as why more teens are remaining abstinent while at the same time more teen girls are engaging in anal sex. These are only apparent contradictions.

The above two changes stem from technological advancement. This last reason is a cultural shift that cannot be attributed to technology. It is the emergence of “grinding” as a common and accepted practice both on the high school dance floor, as well as in more private settings. The popular media has already caught on to this trend. Grinding among teens appears on both racy serials like Weeds, as well as wholesome serials like Glee as a means for teens committed to abstinence to enjoy sexual intimacy while remaining abstinent. The CDC did not survey teens on the subject of “grinding” but I would expect they would have found a dramatic increase over the same time period that would have far off-set the other declines.

While various interests in the larger society try to control or at least influence teens, I would conclude teens are taking control of their own destinies and choices more than ever before. Parents like me seem generally happy with the outcome, even if we are shocked, confused and sometimes even horrified by the “grinding” that happens on and off the high school dance floor.

Sept '05 CDC Report ('02 data) - See Tables 3 & 4 on pages 21 & 22 of the PDF
Mar '11 CDC Report ('06 - '08 data) - See Table 7 on page 38 of the PDF