Most of Philip’s friends have an irresistible urge to confide their most private thoughts. And with the advent of Facebook, his peers confide their private thoughts for all to see. A fellow lacrosse player recently had this in his status. “This really sucks. I just realized today that the girl I like is way out of my league and probably likes another guy anyway.”
Philip’s ex-girlfriend Layla is no less private. For three consecutive evenings starting the day she read Philip’s privately delivered break-up note, Layla composed and published four hundred to six hundred word Facebook notes about how she was coping with Philip ending their relationship. And then about a month later she published another five hundred word note about how she met and connected with her new boyfriend, Daniel. Like her break-up chronicles, the “new boyfriend” note contained more information than any smart parent would recommend confiding. Layla’s note included the fact that she and Philip shared the first slow dance at the first school dance which took place about two weeks after they broke up. It also included a description of how much she liked kissing her new boyfriend. And finally, she confided that she had never kissed a guy before she kissed Daniel.
The significance of the “first kiss” disclosure was not lost on Philip. Layla had effectively disclosed to the world (albeit indirectly) that she and Philip had never kissed. There were positive and negative aspects to this disclosure. On the negative side, Philip anticipated no shortage of annoying questions about his long done relationship with Layla. Why did you dance with her if you had broken up? Were you hoping to get back together? Did you really never kiss? Are you jealous of Daniel? On the positive side, Layla had disclosed to the world that her relationship with Philip had been tame. While he couldn’t verify his suspicion, it seemed to Philip that quite of number of the girls were shunning him because of his previous relationship with Layla. Layla and Daniel had been not-so-privately kissing during the morning and lunch breaks. Effectively, these girls seemed to think Philip had “used” Layla and then dumped her. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but Philip had no platform to defend himself against these unspoken accusations. But with her latest note, Layla had effectively given Philip the platform he needed to shine light on the truth of his honorable conduct with Layla. And so Philip composed the following comment to post below Layla’s note.
OK. Since I know a bunch of you are going to want to ask me a bunch of questions about Layla’s note, I’m going to answer them here so I won’t need to repeat myself.
1. Everything Layla has written about me in this and her other three notes is true.
2. That’s right. Layla and I never kissed. She and I spent the twenty-three days were dating exclusively getting to know one another.
3. Layla and I are still friends. The fact that we slow danced did not mean we wanted to get back together.
4. I’m really happy Layla and Daniel have found one another. They seem like a great match.
Despite posting his comment, Philip still got questions the next day, but he figured he got fewer than he would have otherwise. The questions came from the usual suspects: A handful of guys who thrive upon gossip. He did not get any questions from girls, but he sensed a small, guarded change in the way he was being treated by ones he suspected had been shunning him. Philip’s post was a tactical move that had the intended consequences. In contrast, most of his peers, including Layla and his friend from the lacrosse team continue to confide too much.
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