By the end of sixth grade, Chloe, Katherine and Robbie seemed inseparable. While Chloe had many other friends, Katherine and Robbie were her primary friends. The summer seemed mainly focused on things they would be doing together. There were plenty of sleepovers along with campfires at Robbie’s house and horror movie nights at Katherine’s house. The girls were comfortable and the parents liked the friendships.
But in early July, we learned that Robbie’s family was moving across the country before the end of the month. The news was sudden and unexpected. And while Chloe had experienced friends moving away before (including one moving away suddenly) having a special friend relocate during early adolescence seemed like it would be particularly hard. During the short window, the families worked to maximize the time the girls shared together but goodbyes were still quite hard on the last day. Robbie was crying. Chloe and Katherine were numb.
August arrived with a cold front which most welcomed. But for Chloe and Katherine, the reality of Robbie’s absence began to take hold. The girls traded text messages and chatted on Facebook but there was clearly an empty place that Robbie had once occupied. On the one hand, Robbie was irreplaceable. But on the other hand, Chloe and Katherine wanted to find a new third. Not surprisingly, the first to jump into the chaos was Rita’s daughter Jasmine.
Jasmine was suddenly there and willing to join the following Friday when Katherine’s father, Jeff, picked up Chloe for horror movie night. Katherine eagerly welcomed Jasmine and Chloe was happy to have another friend join them. But in the early evening Jasmine suddenly wanted Jeff to drive her to an art class she had conveniently failed to mention. Jeff regularly struggled to manage Katherine and her friends as if his life as a single father were a situation comedy. We knew how to manage and assist Jeff; Robbie’s parents knew how to manage and assist Jeff; but Rita, who herself was a struggling single mom on the edge of coming unglued, did not know Jeff at all. Jeff decided not to load the girls into his truck to take Jasmine to her art class, and it was probably the right decision. But the choice cascaded into trouble as Rita couldn’t leave work and Rita’s not very nurturing boyfriend could not be bothered.
While Jasmine is fun and we care about her and her family, she does not offer the stability Robbie once provided. Jasmine is simply too self-oriented. She was quick to blame Patty and her family whenever there was any kind of conflict and she was likewise quick to blame Katherine and Jeff this time around.
But perhaps every vacuum draws in what naturally fills it. A girl named Stacey has suddenly taken an interest in Chloe and Katherine. For a little over a week, Stacey has been trying to connect with them and has finally managed to schedule them both for a sleepover in replacement of their traditional horror movie night at Katherine’s. The recording messages Stacey has left on our phone system sound eager and friendly. Stacey’s parents likewise seem stable and able to work out schedules and other “parenting young adolescent girls” issues without conflict. So while Robbie can never be replaced, perhaps the gap she left can nonetheless be filled by Stacey, or someone else who can develop into someone irreplaceable.
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